Making a big change

Last week (as usual) ended up being a complete mixed bag, which resulted in a decision to make a big change.

I was feeling quite low last Wednesday, but managed to pull myself out of the funk. I went to a dance class which probably helped. However, on Thursday my lovely other half was very, very low. He was down to the point of almost crying. As he has done so many times, he contemplated handing in his notice. He hadn't had an awful day, but there were a few things that seemed to just push him over the edge. We got up and although he was feeling awful, we headed to work, with him saying on the way that he would hand in his notice on Monday. He had already decided the week before to do this, but then he'd had an okay day at work and decided to hang around a bit longer.

On our way home from work on Friday, I wasn't sure what to expect. I figured that like the week before, there was a good chance that he'd had an okay day and chosen to stay put for now. Unfortunately (or fortunately?) he was still feeling incredibly low. We had a really good talk on Friday evening, and he made the decision to hand in his notice tomorrow. The turning point for me was the fact that his day at work on Friday had, in fact, been perfectly fine, but he still felt awful. To me, this signifies that the job is really not for him, and that he needs additional help. We wrote the letter he will take tomorrow, so now it just needs printing out. I think it's the right decision, as I have watched him slip further and further down into a deep sadness, and I think this is a step back up. I don't expect things to suddenly improve drastically, but it should be a small (big?) step in the right direction. In addition, his counselling referral details have come through, so we need to call them this week. I really just hope that the two things combined will put him on the right path for him, and make him happier.

My poor, wonderful other half is, of course, worried that he won't be earning and that it will be unfair on me. The way I see it is that the happier he is, the happier I am. He's worried about what other people will think of him, and he does not like quitting. I have pointed out to him that it's not quitting, it's choosing to leave. It's not that he can't do the work/cope in this company, it's a decision that he no longer wants to do it.

I have to say, that I don't know if I want to stay in my job, but I'm staying put for now. I wasn't sad that I didn't get an interview for the job I applied for (well, a little in that I don't like not doing well, but I wasn't sad I wouldn't get to leave my job). My main priority is sticking it out for a bit, as I do love my colleagues and some days I even feel like I've had a good day, and making sure my other half starts becoming happier. Maybe once he has found a new job and is settled, I'll think about looking.

It is definitely going to be a big change. For almost four and half years, we have worked together, and that's about to come to an end. In some ways it will be sad, but I really think it is the right decision.

I am trying to manage my stress by not working early or late, and by just highlighting to my colleagues when I'm not getting through work. It's a lot easier to do that now than it was a year ago. So far so good, I haven't had early starts or late finishes since Christmas, so I think I've made progress.

In completely different news, my stomach has been much better since I more or less gave up gluten. The really big news though (and I've no idea if this is in any way related to me giving up gluten, probably not), is that I've had my first natural period in over twelve years. It was such a momentous occasion I had to tell my friend at work. A little TMI maybe, but it was exciting. I don't want children at the moment, but I now feel like I might have a chance at having them in the future if we decide we want them. Funnily enough, my period arrived just after I'd made an appointment to go to the doctors to talk about the pill (I 'accidentally' came off it a few months ago, when I ran out without realising). Having had no periods for three years though when was 19-21, this is huge news, so we'll have to see what the doctor says this week.

It's going to be a hell of a week.