It's the weekend! Hooray! I'm definitely starting to feel better. I took my hot water bottle to work yesterday and today and didn't use it once. I've continued to take the Buscopan, and probably will do so at least tomorrow and maybe the next couple of days. I find it hard to switch off, and I can definitely see myself stressing about work next week whilst I'm off. As well as not switching off well, I find it hard to let go of my work. I had a really productive day today - basically because we had to! I had to make sure everything was handed over, and I think we got there. Now I'm just hoping that the next part of the project happening next week goes well. Even though I've passed it on, I still worry about it as it was my work and I will always fret about whether I've done everything I needed to, and whether I've done it properly. I need to remember that it's now with someone else, and that that person is very competent, and that if I've missed something she will pick it up, the same way I would if our roles were reversed. For next week at least, it's not mine to worry about.
It's difficult. Letting go of something that you've invested yourself in is not easy. It's hard not to dwell on things. When you've spent a lot time and effort on something, you want to see it through, make sure it's done properly and in a way, gain closure by completing it. Unfortunately, life doesn't work like that, and neither does my job. It's therefore incredibly important that I find some way of letting go.
There must be ways of learning to let go of things. I intend to try the following:
- reminding myself that my colleagues are amazing, so the project is in good hands
- lots of fresh air and exercise, time with family and activities so that I forget about work completely
- breathing techniques if I do start thinking about work - concentrating on breathing in and out, and pushing work thoughts out of my mind
- trusting people - it fits with the first point really - reminding myself that it won't fall apart without me
- if I do end up stressing, putting things into perspective and thinking 'what's the worst that could happen?'. You know what? It's not that bad.
Aside from all of that, I intend to focus on the positive things - a week off, seeing my wonderful family, spending time with my amazing other half, doing fun things, hopefully playing board games, eating out... So whilst enjoying my week off, I hope to learn better how to let go. After all, I don't actually need more responsibility at work - I have enough of that already - so I'm going to try to see letting go of bits of work as a blessing.
And relax...
